THREE Things I Need {when I'm in a funk}



It’s the 4th quarter of Winter, y’all! Spring is SO close!

As much as I’m trying to soak up all the snowed-in and cooped up time with my kids, when I hear birds chirping outside and the sun peeping through, I get a little misty-eyed.

Winter has felt really long. I wrote earlier this month about my struggle with depression and believing lies (read here). I let myself get into a place where all I could think or say is,  I cannot do this. I said it before, and I’m going to say it again, the war for our souls is real. And its not stopping.

When life feels heavy and I cannot pull it together, more than anything, I need the work of the Holy Spirit. He changes hearts. He brings the Joy + Peace. But I've gathered a few practical things that have seemed to help me get my bearings when life gets a little hairy.

Doing these are not easy for me and I don't pretend to be an expert on doing life really well. Oh my goodness, I'm the first to need a do-over by 9 am and a lot of convincing to get out of bed most mornings. 

So, I am preaching to myself here. 



Accountability:

I know this word is thrown around a lot in Christian culture. I definitely struggle with really knowing how to make it work in busy lives, babies hanging off of me, and in a culture where its easier to be surfacey.

But, there has been such power and freedom confessing my sins and knowing someone is standing with me and praying when "I cannot do this" is all I can hear. Someone I can text, This is the lie I’m believing, remind me again why that’s not true? Someone who can remind me to pray about the stuff that seems dumb (but is not), and encourage me to be in The Word, even if its just one verse.

If you don’t have someone to hold you accountable, pray for one. Long distance or around the corner, same age/season or not, sister or mother—God is super creative in how he uses relationships to sharpen us. A weekly check-in with specific prayer needs is a great way to start, even if it has to be over email/text.

(Note: Having some sisters in my amen corner has been such a gift, but this does not replace the accountability and support from my husband.)

Filling My Tank + Self Care:

Doing things that fill my tank and bring me life as well as physically taking care of myself is hard in this season. Its easy to feel guilty about spending time for myself, when it feels like my family needs me all the time. But its like the analogy of putting your oxygen mask first on an airplane so that you can help others with their's. If I'm filled up and caring for myself, I can pour out so much more. 

This takes a lot of planning, creativity, and being intentional. I’ve have to communicate with my husband what I need. Whether it be walk around the block or a trip to the bookstore, if I don’t tell him, it probably won’t happen. Likewise, I want to make sure his tank is filled up and know what he needs as well (right now its paddling!)




THINGS THAT FILL MY TANK:

Getting up Early: Get my bearings, a cup of hot coffee (uninterrupted) and a little time with the Lord. This doesn't makes me awesome or holy, it has just continually been a win for me.


People Time: I’m an extrovert to the core, so too much time cooped up will throw me into a tail-spin. I have to get creative (i.e. walk with friends at the gym or after bedtime coffee dates).


Writing/Creating: whether it be blogging, thinking creatively for our business, painting, doing a craft—it feeds a part of myself and brain that doesn't get used often


Small Breaks: 5 minutes when I need a hot second to ask God for patience and peace. Hot tea and quiet on my bed with the door closed, because mommy needs a time-out. (this takes some setting up for the kids, but very worth it).


SELF CARE FOR ME:

Exercise: Even if its just a walk around the block or 5 minute workout video I found on YouTube. I heard a psychiatrist say that he would be out of work if people would eat right and exercise.


Eat Well + Take Supplements: My goal—less caffeine + bread/sugar and more water + real food. Not easy, but worth it when I don't have the huge carb/caffeine crashes that make me want to crawl in a hole at 1pm. And on a good day, I take D3 Iron Green drink Magnesium, EFAs, Probiotics (Click for Links)

Get Dressed: I get 100% more done + feel like a human when I have something on rather than an oversized T-shirt, yoga pants, and yesterdays eye makeup.


I've learned a lot from the Tiny Twig on Mothering Yourself (self care) that I shared (read here)
Also, I'm looking forward to reading The Fringe Hours that talks a lot about this topic. 



Eyes off Me:

When I was in my early 20s, my mentor would always ask me when I was in a funk, What are you doing for someone else? (ahh... I hated when she said that) But she was right. 

I can get so caught up in my head and my reality that if I can point my focus outward, for even 5 minutes, suddenly what I thought was such a big deal gets a lot dimmer.

In THIS season of my life, my serving is not super impressive. I'd love to do more, but for now it looks like writing a little note of encouragement, or texting a friend whose in a hard season and seeing how I can pray. If I have a little more time, I may bring a happy or meal to someone who needs it. 

I know God made it like that on purpose. That our hearts would change a little bit and we would truly feel life when we served and loved on others. Luke 10:28, after Jesus tells us to Love God and Love others… He says Do this and you will have LIFE. Translated Zaō: enjoy real life!

Above Photos: Gina Zielder 




There are days when I cannot pull it together enough to do any of this. But I will tell you, I am always blown away how far a Help me, Jesus and just putting one foot in front of the other goes. His yolk is easy and burden is light. 

1 comment

  1. Oh, this is so beautiful & in all ways, resonates. Love love love your writing and your honesty. I am nodding and amen-ing to so many of your specific ideas & tools. Love it. So deeply essential for us as women. ♡

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